Inspirational Authenticity & Mindful Admiration

Insights into Role Models and Our View of Them

Maybe your inspiration is someone you know intimately, like a parent, a sibling or a friend. 

Maybe it’s someone you’ve never met like an athlete, an actor or a public figure. 

Take a moment to think about who has shaped you. Take a moment to think about you.

What about them truly inspires you? What is it that they do that you find worth holding space in your heart and mind for them? 

What parts your personality is because of them? What parts of your personality do you hide because of them.

Does your role model show their true colors? Do you?

The Myth of Perfection in Success

In a culture that glorifies and expects people to have flawless success stories, like those of Jeff Bezos or Oprah Winfrey, it’s easy to mistake perfection for inspiration. 

This is especially true due to the fact that social media force feeds us perfection in all areas of life: 

Photos of people and food are always edited to look perfect, even if they look nothing like the original picture. 

Videos of women already stick thin in a matching workout set moving in sync with the beat of her workout mix, with not a hair out of place. 

On social media we see lives that are researched, rehearsed and curated to prompt the most likes, shares and comments. Lives where every moment seems effortless and every goal perfectly met. 

But real personal growth does not happen in perfection, in little sections where everything happens exactly as it should, exactly at the right time. 

Rose's Reminder: Real personal growth happens in the process of becoming, the stumbles and missed steps that shape us and teach us how to move through life even though we are hurting. 

The people who inspire us most should not be the ones who never fall or the ones who always present a steady climb of success. 

The people who inspire us should be the people who keep showing up when life gets hard or are willing to show themselves falling and getting back up again. 

Their honesty reminds us that hurting is okay, that mindfulness and resilience can only begin to take root where hurt has bloomed first.

Authenticity Over Achievement 

Meaningful role models should exhibit authenticity, not simply ride the high of their achievements. They should wear themselves on their sleeve to show the world: “Here’s what I believe, and here’s what I do to back it up”. 

But what is authenticity in the context of personal growth and mindfulness? 

According to Psychology Today, there are 4 key factors to being authentic: 

Self Awareness 

Do you have a self concept? Do you know what a self concept is? If you want some more insight into developing a self concept, check out my post about Finding Yourself. 

A self concept is an understanding of your: 

Emotions - What are you feeling right now? What do you feel when good or bad things happen around you? 

Motivations - What are your goals in life? Why do you want to accomplish them? 

Preferences - Why do you like the things you like? Why do you surround yourself with people who reinforce certain ideas? 

Abilities - Can you do what you say you can? Can you think and feel what you want to think and feel? Do you need help accomplishing these things? 

In thinking about authenticity, being self aware and having a strong self concept helps you know the 2 W’s: the “Why” and “What” behind your personal experience. This knowledge can help you with the next factors of authenticity. 

Unbiased Processing 

Think about the questions above. Pick a goal you have for your personal life, and write down the first thing you think of when answering them. 

Can you answer them without blaming your circumstances or using someone else’s actions or words as a scapegoat against you? 

That is unbiased processing. Thinking realistically, evaluating your strengths and weaknesses without blaming someone else for them. 

In terms of authenticity, having unbiased processing can help you be real with yourself, setting realistic goals and standards for yourself that you (hopefully) won't struggle with doing. 

Unbiased processing is like seeing social media without the filters, looking at the unedited version of yourself and going “This is me, and I am enough”. 

Behavior 

I’m sure most people, at some point, have been afraid of what others think or say about them. I know I have. And I’m not talking about those nightmares where you show up to school in your pajamas and everyone laughs. That dream is surprisingly common, especially for teachers! 

As someone who suffers from social anxiety, being afraid of what people say or think about me is an everyday experience. Even walking up to a counter at a fast food restaurant I wonder, “What if I'm doing this wrong? What if the person at the counter thinks I’m weird?” 

This fear of being perceived by others, and criticized by them, can lead to changing your behavior so that you can feel better about how others think of you. However, truly authentic behavior is acting in accordance with what you think and feel, without being afraid of what others will think or say about it. 

This part of authenticity, the showing up and actually doing what you say and doing it without care of what others think, takes a lot of courage. 

Your mind is a muscle, and just like your arms and legs, you can work out your mind to help get mentally and emotionally stronger. Check out these tips for building up your courage muscle from Kripalu to help you  build up the courage to live your authentic life. 

Relational Orientation

An important but often overlooked aspect of authenticity is being honest about your relationships. Partners, family, friends, colleagues all deserve your openness and honesty in all things. Do you give it to them? 

I’ll admit, even though my mother is one of my role models, we do not get along well. 

Our relationship is affected by generational trauma, highly differing opinions and behaviors, and our own mental health. 

But, one thing my mother has never had an issue with, in all the time I’ve known her, was showing up. She has determination seemingly never ending; bringing her authentic, courageous, honest self into everything she does. 

That is why I am inspired by her, because she will show up, with her goals for the day set and herself set on doing them, on days where I struggle to get out of bed. 

She is my role model because she does things consistently, something which I am learning how to do and am in awe of how she does it.

Do you have relationships like that, where you are inspired by someone who does things you can’t do just yet? Or are you jealous of that person and hide it behind smiles for them? 

Relationships with others are just as important in your journey to authenticity and self-actualization.

In the garden of life, do you nourish your fellow plants, or do you try to take the sunlight from them? 

Now that you know what authenticity is, I have a question for you: Is your role model authentic? 

Are they aware of themselves and their relationships with others?

Are they open about their struggles? 

Are they realistic in setting standards of thoughts and behvaiors for themselves? 

Do they tell you, their audience in inspiration, about why they think what they think and what it takes to do what they do? 

If they are, congratulations! You have a solid role model to look to, one who practices what they preach is someone who can tell you why they preach it. 

If you are not sure, take some time to evaluate them, ask them questions if you can. Take a minute now to determine if your role model is worth emulating in the future. 

Mindful Admiration

When engaging in mindfulness, even our admiration can become a personal learning experience. 

Ask yourself: What exactly about this person moves me? 

Their success story?

Their perfection?

Their courage?

Their way of showing up when things get hard? 

Paying attention to the "why” behind your admiration can showcase the values that matter most to you, something you need to know in order to be courageously authentic; the values that guide your own journey toward even more personal growth.

When we look at others with mindful admiration, they stop being untouchable idols and start becoming reflections. 

Not of someone who we should try to copy, but who we want to become. 

When looking at our role models with mindfulness, we are inspired by what they show us, that we can become a role model to others based on what me 

The Takeaway

A true role model is not someone you want to become, it’s someone who helps you see yourself more clearly. 

The people who shape us most don’t hand us a formula for success.

Truth Tip: Those 'formulas for success' are not one-size-fits-all.

They help us uncover the strength, compassion, and resilience already within us.

As you move through your personal growth journey, look for the people who make you feel grounded, fulfilled and wishing to do more to better yourself; not because you feel inadequate but because you feel uplifted by their energy and want to do more. 

Because sometimes, the most inspirational thing you can do is not chase perfection, but nurture your flaws and grow with love.